Things I Lost In The Fire

Rock fans my age don’t need to be reminded that last Friday, 19 years ago, Kurt Cobain blew his brains out.

Nirvana were our Beatles. And perhaps, they meant more to us than the Beatles did to kids in the ’60s. (This kind of thinking invariably leads to huge ass fights, so maybe I should just move swiftly along.)

So anyway, Nirvana meant a lot to us. And they meant a lot to me. And I don’t mean because Nevermind kicked pop in the balls and turned the music industry on its head. I mean because Nirvana cost me money. Or rather, the motherfucking religious fanatics who burnt my copy of Nevermind cost me money. 

Here’s what happened: 

I was in my teens. It must have been 1994. We were at some stupid church camp in Port Dickson where we were lectured about worldliness being evil. We were told that premarital sex was bad. We were told that lust would send us to hell. We were warned that rock ’n’ roll was what Lucifer wanted you to listen to. That KISS stood for Knights in Satan’s Service. That AC/DC stood for Antichrist Devil’s Children. That Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin worshiped The Devil. That Anton LaVey was on the cover of the Hotel California album (It was actually the reverse sleeve, and seriously, was that even LaVaey in the arch? Could it not have been Rob Halford?) 

And we listened. And we pretended to give a shit, all the while just praying that we’d be allowed at least one dip in the sea before the weekend was through. 

Then, one boy started rebelling against the bullshit and bad food and 6am mass. And the pricks in charge got angry. There was shouting. He shouted back. They got angrier. He threatened to reign hellfire on them. They got mad. He called them pussies. They went stark raving mad. And as a result,  they went through his bag. Then they went through mine. Then the other boys'. And pretty soon they had Walkmans, a Guitar World magazine, two copies of Kerrang! and a pile of cassettes that they were convinced were the main reason that the poor fellow, our friend, was “behaving like a monster”. There were only two things to do they felt: 

One, call his parents. And two, build a bonfire and throw the Kerrang!, Guitar World and cassettes on it.

Yes, it happened. Yes, it's not the whole truth because the details don’t really matter. All anyone needs to know is that there was a camp. There was trouble. And my cassettes, the ones listed below, did get thrown in the fucking fire.

They were:

Aerosmith – Get A Grip

Bon Jovi – Keep The Faith

Def Leppard – Hysteria

Guns N' Roses – Use Your Illusion I

Van Halen – For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge 

Nirvana – Nevermind

Nirvana – In Utero

Mr Big – Bump Ahead

Megadeth – Countdown to Extinction

Metallica – Metallica

U2 – Achtung Baby

U2 – Zooropa

The Offspring – Smash

R.E.M. – Monster

The Eagles – Hell Freezes Over

Led Zeppelin – Led Zeppelin III

Iron Maiden – Fear of the Dark

Did I start going off religion after my rock cassettes got burnt? Yes, I think so. Motherfucking religious fanatics invaded my privacy. Destroyed my possessions. And worst of all, they didn't even care that the Van Halen and Hysteria belonged to a friend, the Iron Maiden to another friend, and that the Bon Jovi was a gift from my grandmother. It was only natural that I'd want nothing to do with the church after that.

So yes, every year since then, on 5th April, while my peers remember Nirvana and Cobain and what both meant to our generation, all I can think about is how I had to buy Nevermind and In Utero twice!